4 Ways to Survive Thanksgiving Alone

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1. Accept That You're Alone

This is brutally harsh, but the sooner we accept that we are alone for the holiday, the sooner we can pull ourselves out of the quagmire of loneliness. Sometimes, we spend an awful lot of effort trying to convince ourselves that we are just fine, that we've done this before, and that this year shouldn't be any different than last year, while inside, we're harboring emotions ranging from grief to hurt, anger to annoyance, and lost to aimless.

It's okay. In fact, as so many artists have put to words now in songs and books, "It's okay to not be okay." In fact, it's healthier to stop pretending you're fine or holding yourself to a standard that says you should be stronger than you are.

Accept the difficult truth that you're lonely. Then, decide to do something about it.

2. Consider Your Options

But you don't have any options? Offhand you're probably right. There are no options. But take some time to dig further and see if this is true. Does your church have a Thanksgiving dinner planned for church family that needs a place to be? Does another church in your community have something planned? (Sometimes, we forget to look outside our home church's walls). Is there a community center that has activities planned? Perhaps some families have posted on social media an open door for people who need a place to go (probably more popular in smaller cities).

If you take a proactive approach toward Thanksgiving, you will most likely find many options you can be a part of. Yes, the difficult part is you may have to go alone, and that's not always comfortable. But, in the spirit of Thanksgiving, you'll find many folks at these types of events that are actually looking for you. They're also looking to meet new people to build a community and forge new friendships.

3. Build Your Options

Didn't like the idea above? Maybe it's too much at the mercy of others' planning. Or perhaps it's just too far out of your comfort zone. How about if you plan your own Thanksgiving? It's not difficult to find others who need a place to go. Offer to host a dinner for a few people. Can't cook? Have it catered in by a restaurant. Or, if you can't afford it, get creative and suggest everyone bring a dish to pass and start a new Thanksgiving food tradition. Worst case scenario, ask people just to come and bring their own supper and be together because the holidays are all about being together—old friends and new.

4. Be Happy Alone

Ouch. But let's face it, some of you have read the ideas above, and frankly, you're already retreating to your house and protesting the number of people involved. If that's the case, ask yourself if you really want to be part of Thanksgiving or if you've fallen for the stigma that you should be, when in reality, you would rather look forward to being alone.

Not everyone likes family gatherings! Not everyone enjoys gatherings! So hey. If you're one of those people, permit yourself to kick back for the day. Be happy alone. Quite a few do it, and quite a few flourish there. It's okay.

Thanksgiving isn't a holiday of rules. It's more of a holiday of expectations. Sometimes those expectations are lost hopes, sometimes they're too hard to achieve, and sometimes they're simply unwanted expectations you'd rather do without.

But unmet expectations are often what makes Thanksgiving the loneliest. We have a vision in our minds of what we want, and we have a world where that just isn't going to happen.

Ask yourself: can I change my Thanksgiving future? If you can be proactive and pursue change, then do it! If you can't, and you're trapped where you are, don't be afraid to reach out to your local church or a local church and ask if there are any options for shut-ins, those with special needs, or for the elderly.

Last year was the first Thanksgiving without my mom. It was also the first Thanksgiving of grief and loss for another family in our church. Plans for Thanksgiving had splintered, and several of us were feeling alone. It wasn't my instinct to decide to create my own Thanksgiving. I can't cook, so where I'm concerned, every living turkey praises Jesus for people like me. But I have a house. Not a fancy one. Not even an organized or remarkably clean one. You know the others didn't mind? One brought the turkey—poor gobbler. Another paid me some cash so I could buy things like pumpkin pie and dinner rolls. Somehow mashed potatoes and stuffing got made. And yeah, I opened a can of cranberry sauce and made it work. The fact is, we had Thanksgiving. A motley cru of people who would not have normally found their way to the same house, let alone for a family holiday.

It worked. And that night, in the silence, my widowed dad wandered home to his empty house. Alone. And I received a text that said, "I've never felt so full in all my life. Thank you, my little turkey."

Reach out a hand this Thanksgiving. You may be surprised who reaches back.