5 Ways to Protect Your Marriage from Harmful Flirtation

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1. Avoid Tempting Situations

Don’t hang out alone with someone else’s spouse. Don’t share in-depth, personal feelings with a member of the opposite sex, unless it’s truly necessary. Avoid certain groups and events where you know inappropriate behavior is likely to occur.

The Bible teaches:

“God’s will is for you to be holy, so stay away from all sexual sin. Then each of you will control his own body and live in holiness and honor—not in lustful passion like the pagans who do not know God and his ways.” 1 Thess. 4:3-5 NLT

2. Set Clear Boundaries

Setting boundaries safeguards your marriage. Consider these examples:

-If you have to go out to lunch with a client of the opposite sex, protect your marriage by okaying it with your spouse beforehand.

-Do not slow dance with friends. Save your dances for your spouse.

-Limit calls, texts, and online chats with members of the opposite sex. Discuss only what’s necessary and keep it brief.

Making clear, firm boundaries honors your marriage. And it helps you live up to God’s holy standard:

“Marriage is to be honored by all, and husbands and wives must be faithful to each other. God will judge those who are immoral and those who commit adultery.” Heb. 13:4 GNT

3. Be Vigilant Together

So, what’s the difference between being flirty and just being friendly?

While both may involve light-hearted banter, the sole intent of flirting is to attract others sexually. Flirting often includes making suggestive comments or giving extra compliments to gauge a response. Subtle gestures, such as prolonged eye contact or physical touch, often ask this basic question: “You’re really attractive—do you find me attractive, too?”

Discuss the differences between being friendly and being flirty with your spouse. Identify threats (like the beautiful blonde mentioned above) that might harm your marriage. Decide what social and physical parameters will best protect your love.

4. Watch the Little Things

Do your clothes send a sexual message to the opposite sex? What do your facials imply? Do you make racy or suggestive innuendos to others? These things can send the wrong message if you’re not careful.

The Bible says:

“And I want women to be modest in their appearance. They should wear decent and appropriate clothing and not draw attention to themselves by the way they fix their hair or by wearing gold or pearls or expensive clothes. For women who claim to be devoted to God should make themselves attractive by the good things they do.” 1 Tim. 2:9-10 NLT

5. Flirt with Your Spouse (Only)

Unless your marriage was pre-arranged, you probably first attracted your spouse by flirting. Have you kept it up? You should. Romancing your spouse isn’t a frivolous activity. Passion protects and strengthens your marriage. So recall your initial feelings of love, joy, and fun. Revive your romance. Go on special dates. Hold hands. Be overly flirty—even salacious—with your spouse, but not with others.

Your marriage is one of the most precious relationships you’ll ever have in this life. So be careful to protect it from harmful flirtation or whatever else might threaten it. You’ll be glad you did.